PERHAPS WATCH THIS CLIP HERE FIRST: https://youtu.be/6AwCQRN9fkU
There are things in life that happen that can absolutely floor us.
There are things that we may witness or experience that can potentially hurt, a lot.
There are people that are close to you that may seem to care more about how others perceive them, than about how they should perhaps be treating you, perhaps even a husband or wife.
If you have been hurt by someone you care about, then you understand the confusion and pain that can come of being treated this way.
How then, do we react if something like this is the case?
Perhaps being honest is the key? This is not always easy as being so can leave you open to ridicule or judgement, perhaps even from those closest to you who want the world to see them as perfect.
I admit to you all, that I am far from perfect!
I try and mitigate risk and ensure that I communicate my concerns and act in a way that is 'safe' or that could ensure the safety of others, wherever possible.
I must ask that you all respect our privacy at this time as we ourselves are going through some big issues and were even a Covid 19 effected family as we reside in one of the most locked down cities in the world....Melbourne, Australia!
We did things differently here and I can say whilst it was challenging being locked down, it was well communicated and as is the Aussie way, helped each other as much as possible and became a tight knit little group that whilst sensitive, tries to back each other in and who smile alot, and who don;t need as much now to be happy!
We have had health issues and have had to tighten our budget and go through a bit to keep it all working!
If you can find even just one person that cannot help but be real, and who doesn’t falter in who they are, and who is honest and open to your ideas and opinions and who treats you with the highest level of respect, even in tough situations, or at least tries to do everything they can to help you and others.....
....then it is much easier to keep the faith in not only them and life, but their future possibilities for you, them and everyone too.
People can become incredible because they know deep down who they are and hold fast to their values no matter what life brings to their door. This is not easy as stated above, but to try and do it is the whole point. You may not even be as successful at is as you would like to be, and may even have to cut corners some days to ensure that you stay healthy ie. skip that gym session to spend time with a loved one who needs you for instance, or attend to a health issue that just has to take priority.
Rituals are a guide for you, to remain healthy, but the truth is that I have to change it up a lot, depending on what work is required and what is going on in my life, but things like doing 100 sit ups a day and eating and drinking creative and nutritious foods at decent times in the day so I am not rushing around and missing out on the most important things, are what I focus in on most.
Also, the health and wellbeing of my children and my husband is so utterly important, along with the health of our relationship, as we have kids together and I need to be making them and our relationship my priority.
We can choose to ignore issues or we can be honest with ourselves, take note, analyse, decide and then act and perhaps even make a difference.
I think this is where honesty cannot help but come in. Be careful here though, as it can be confronting for all parties concerned and sometimes it may mean that we have to face the music and the penalties involved for perhaps doing something wrong, or that you didn't mean to do, and saying, I am sooooooooooo sorry! I feel really bad about this and will make sure it doesn't happen again.
I also say, be careful how your honesty is delivered as it may come as too much for people to handle, so be gentle in your delivery and try to go easy on them and on yourself.
Deep down we know who we are and how we wish to be treated.
Deep down, we know who other people really are. Use Love as your guide and treat them the way you would like to be treated perhaps.
Deep down we can all see what is really going on in situations if we spend time trying to.
Some people are so real that everything that is done to them, just makes them more honest, real, and perhaps even makes them knuckle down and want to help and they speak their truth in a way that is unmistakable.
The more emotion that comes through, can be exhausting, but at least it cannot be misinterpreted.
If people feel the truth coming at them, it can be hard to hear and act on, but we must listen to our gut and respond accordingly, and sometimes even say, this is unacceptable to me.
Those that feel deep hurt, can effect others with their display of deep emotion and can hurt others, even accidentally. So, do your best to stay calm and work through each and every issue with people, and talk them through your problem and always think, honesty is the best policy! Perhaps take time before you speak to think through what could be said and how it could be stated.
I don;t get this right all the time either!
I am not saying that we shouldn’t be feeling hurt, pain, disappointment, frustration or hurt from their perceived mistreatment of you or perhaps the way they handle situations upsets you.
Your reaction is what counts....even just repeating back how they said it can have an interesting effect and make them realise how harshly it was spoken or perhaps even how the words themselves are so hard to hear.
Times are challenging for many people right now. I would never do you the disservice of minimalising the struggle you are going through.
Ignoring it, or even trying to sugar coat a difficult situation would be unhelpful, and is the opposite of leadership. – Cathy Burke wrote something similar in her work and I love her work with a passion! Please feel free to look her up as she also works with leaders in organisations and has been very successful in doing so.
Having said all of the above, it is so important that we keep believing in ourselves, in others and in life.
If we can believe in ourselves and believe that we deserve to enjoy life a little, and can allow ourselves to relax in the face of it all and trust in live and what it is showing you, then act to help make sure it doesn’t happen again by learning from it.
When I was going through a rough time, in a relationship in the past, all I wanted to do was be with and love the fun and innocence that my children and some of beautiful friends bring to the table and to fiercely protect my family and them with everything I had.
Even they don’t always do everything correctly….Or perhaps as I would like them to!
On a side note, hugging, kissing and loving our kids is fine, even lying or sleeping beside them on occasion, like in a camping situation or even letting them, when unwell or on a special occasion, or if they just need some extra love and attention, is completely fine however, touching them inappropriately or mistreating them on purpose, is not even close to being alright. To do so could be considered abuse.
I ask personally, that you please never hurt anyone where you can avoid doing so, especially our kids!!
They need us at our best, and it is even harder when your partner and you are having troubles and it weighs them down. I have been through something similar as we had challenges galore. I must say that discussing it all openly may have changes their lives and also managing their reactions and showing them love, even when they lash out a bit is how I handled it.
Honest discussion over what is acceptable and why is the key to it all.
So let's do the opposite of abuse and treat our kids properly and make sure they are healthy in all ways! That is what we are all about here.
Good communication and being up front about what is appropriate and what is not in a family situation, before it happens where possible, is a very good idea.
As a Mum, I just cannot ever give up on them, or on educating them about what is healthy behaviour and what is not. This goes for my relationship too!
Also, what is their and everyone else’s highest and best interests which is ridiculously important and cannot be underestimated, no matter how hard it is to enforce and insist upon, even if they don't like it.
A message that sticks is one repeated over and over again by a parent or person of influence or perhaps of authority.
Having the support of a partner, who also disciplines his children to standards that you both agree upon in a relationship, makes it so much easier for the Mother or head female of the household, to uphold such standards.
Kids and young people can act up and test boundaries and make it so hard to continue to insist and teach why the behaviour you are requesting is so important.
Let’s hope all women and men have this kind of emotional and psychological support from their partners.
Realising we may be making assumptions and may also be misinterpreting AND THEREFORE HAVE TO CHECK USING THE BELOW QUESTIONS PERHAPS:
Honest communication is what can heal situations, because it allows for real understanding. It can hurt, and heal and the truth is that it can make people want to run for cover but if honesty is the main outcome, surely being this way can lead to the most amazing outcomes for all.
It allows for trust, which is the basis of all relationships.
Smile and give this life everything you have got.
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