How Values Influence Behaviour
Have you ever thought about what it is that you value in your life…?
When I was about 19, I found myself studying a University course that I wasn't sure I wanted to do actually.
I found out what course I was in, and couldn't believe it. It was not my first preference. I did it anyway because I wasn’t sure what else I should do!
I was also working not just one, but three jobs on the side and at age 19 I was a bit run down or burnt out (depressed is the wrong word actually). I was in a 5 year course I wasn’t really sure about, with the idea that at the end of all this study, I was going to be an Engineer hauled up in a little lab designing Electrical circuits. I had this idea in my mind, which was not something I should have been concerned about, but I didn't know that back then.
I remember going to the Doctor, explaining how I had suffered from multiple colds and flu recently and just felt bad in general and she asked me why I was working myself into the ground. I remember saying I wanted the money from the three jobs I was doing on the side, to buy a new car, but as I said it, I knew that wasn’t the only reason. I had not been asked this question before and it made me look deeper.
Her advice to me was ‘Read some books and smell some flowers’ which shocked me a little, in a good way! She was basically telling me to slow down and find the basic joys in life again, which I started to do. I was able to take a little more time to fit in some sports with some friends actually and go places I wanted to visit during some downtime.
After some personal development work with an incredible mentor that I met not long after, I realised that my top values were hard work, perseverance and determination along with money, which had allowed me to get a lot done, but that had led me to feeling a bit exhausted, a bit burnt out.
With his help, I changed my top 5 values to love, compassion, faith, gratitude and integrity and I lived by them. Having these values changed my future decisions to better ones for me...I decided to do more of what I loved to do, for starters!
Now I am not saying that perseverance or determination are bad values to have, but if they are your top values and you apply them to things you don't love doing, then what happened to me will probably happen to you also (I am not saying not to do it, just be aware of this). This is why it is so important to understand what values are and how they can affect your life! I actually decided to make a change. More on this below.
It is a good idea to have a think about what values you currently have and what you may want to change them to. The way you discover what your current values are is by asking yourself, what do I do with most of my time?
This is a clue as to what you value most.
Trust yourself and you will figure out which values you want to change or take on, and just know that it will change according to the challenges you take on and what stage of life you are in ie. someone with a young family will more than likely have vastly different values to a Performer that is single and travels the world.
By the way, just to finish my storey, I ended up combining my Engineering degree with a Business Marketing Degree (which I loved) which yes, added on an extra year of study, so it was 6 years of study all up in the end, but the double degree allowed me to apply for and take on a great graduate job thankfully, where I learned so much more.
What I realised from the whole process was, if I can get through such a demanding course that taught me subjects like Nuclear physics (from a guy that looked very much like Einstein by the way!) and get through it….then what else can I perhaps achieve?
I do not regret finishing either degree. They were hard years but they created a foundation that would stay with me, along with the additional learning I did in the years to come. This study and even the way think, was engrained in me and I am very thankful for it. It has made me a very grateful and practical person.
There is always an upside in every situation, but it takes courage to look for it and hold onto it whilst you work hard to reach its conclusion.
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