There is so much to do and time to do it in, however it is easy to have the perception that there is not enough time in a day to get everything you need, actually done.
There can be this sneaking feeling that, no matter what you do, it won't be enough.
The only solution is to think like this; Doing small amounts of what really matters most to you, actually is 'enough' day to day.
Many continue to set themselves impossibly high standards and then give themselves a hard time for failing to live up to these.
A lot of us get the message as young people, based on the family members and other people in our lives who demonstrate this behavior around us, that life could be about being responsible, serious, and no fun.
Sometimes we have to be all of these and more, and in moderation they are fine, but I do not suggest we spend our lives with these as our predominant emotions.
When you feel yourself starting to become anxious, over the top or agitated because you have not crossed enough off your to-do list perhaps acknowledge and remember your many successes, rather than dwelling on your perceived flaws or failures.
When there are things we don't understand, we may start questioning everything, which could result in giving ourselves a really hard time.
If this happens, it can have devastating consequences, and can effect not only them but the people around them in negative ways.
This may send us into some pain, however it will likely also lead us into self reflection.
We can search out mentors and those who can help love and guide us thorough what we are going through, without judgement. All of this can then lead to a change in our individual values and beliefs and perhaps even our environments. As a result, we can learn new ways of being.
People can take this too far though, especially if they don't have the right people or mentors around them to guide them through their own thoughts and perhaps a way of thinking and give them the support they require during this sort of process. It must be done with full acceptance, as long as they respect the people assisting them and their mentors are acting in their best interests as well.
The great news is that in our society there is so much support now for people in such situations, regardless of the cause (For example: it may have been a relationship that didn't turn out the way they wanted it to or perhaps even losing a role they loved doing), and most people can find enough assistance through this support network (feel free to look at our other blog which has information on it about where to find these services, like for instance the salvation army or kids help line etc).
If the above mentoring role is done well, then the outcome can be so incredible, and mentorees can change, accept who they are and start to do work using their unique creativity and gifts.
WHEN SOMEONE IS ACTING IN A WAY YOU DON'T LIKE, YOU COULD ASK YOURSELF THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS:
Where have I done this?
What is the benefit of this?
Who is doing the opposite?
And, if you like it, maybe decide that you will act that way in the future and become the role model to others.
Maybe also point out how they can do it differently through an example of another person that they know of who has demonstrated a good way of handling similar siutations in the past.
Perhaps also think of yourself when you felt empowered and allow yourself to be excited about possibility and be optimistic about the future and remember how far you have come. There really is no need to give yourself a hard time, as you may waste a lot of time doing that instead of taking steps in the right direction, toward a new future each and every day.
If we utilise the rituals in our daily lives that make a difference, like eating well and exercising, and working on projects that we love to do, then we will more than likely start acting as our best selves, liking ourselves more and can contributing in a more constructive manner to society, our families etc.
Our relationships can become more creative, and as a result, we have better conversations with others, which creates a feeling of belonging.
Because of all of the contributions we are making individually to people and organisations, we can create more harmony in the world, through us all working at our best, and keeping ourselves in a more relaxed, happier emotional state, the majority of the time.
If we aim to live by values like honesty; respect and love; making a difference and so on, then this also contributes to creating more harmony and better relationships etc. Realtionships are all based on mutual trust and love ultimately.
If we can manage to do just enough each day of the above, we will then feel good about ourselves and our role in the world. Our days will roll into weeks which will roll into months and then years and we may well get to live out a pretty amazing life where we can look back and feel like it was a life well lived.
Do just enough each day and you will turn not only your mood and life around but also potentially that of your children and family, and you may notice things that you may have otherwise have missed.
"People ought to do what they want to do; what else are they alive for?" James Baldwin
If you don't feel very valued, it could well be because you feel like you are being controlled or doing work that you are not that interested in. You may not be doing the things that make you feel good each and every day. If you engage other people to assist you, then they should be offering guidance around what works depending on the outcome you want, and under most circumstances, rather than control.
Having said this, in cases of emergency etc, there may be a need for control over people to ensure their wellbeing and safety.
The way to find your unique talent is to do what you love and what you are naturally inclined to do, even if you weren’t getting paid to do it, and it may not be what others want or need you to do, but may still be a passion of yours, which assuming it is ethical and will not harm others, I would encourage you to do.
This could even be done around another full time or a part-time career.
If you make time for the people, places and loves in your life, then you will more than likely feel naturally playful, happier and come across to others as a more relaxed and kinder version of yourself.
You can do this by choosing the people you want to spend time with, and by allowing yourself to do the sort of work that you really enjoy.
The simple fact is that when you feel good, you naturally help others around you feel good too and they will more than likely want to spend more time with you. The opposite is also true.
You are the unique selling point in your life and perhaps business, as there is only one of you! No other person can be the same and bring the same set of unique attributes to the table.
To rectify the issue around being accountable to work or other pastimes for the majority of your time, you could start by politely saying "no" to a few things that others want you to do.
Saying "no" may seem difficult at first, but is worth doing, if you feel it may hinder the relationships that are most important to you and the work that you really want to do.
If you tell other people who genuinely love you, what you want to do, they can help hold you accountable to it and will usually support you on your journey.
We do not want to experience remorse or regret that we waited so long to do it.
"Do not, put off until tomorrow what you can do today."
If you schedule it early in the morning perhaps, or find cracks in your schedule during the day to do these things, then you can. There is no reason to wait.
If you are spending too much time "in your head" analysing things you could try getting out of your thoughts and into your feelings.
It's about moving from your head to your heart.
What are you feeling about all this? That is what really matters. Tap into that and you should make the right decision.